Confused

How is it possible to be so incredibly happy and so terribly sad at the same time? It's hard to explain, not only to you guys but even to myself. I find myself having these conflicting feelings and I don't know why. Sometimes during the day I look around at my situation and I am filled with so much happiness and appreciation for my life. I know that I am going to be looking back on these times and wishing I had not taken it for granted. I have amazing friends and know I have grown so much as a person. However, something is also just not there. I cannot tell if I feel like something is missing. I don't know if this thing is in myself or if it is something outside of myself. It's a strange feeling and I have no clue what to do with it. This feeling will attack me in a quick wave, crashing down and washing over me, but then slowly pulling away. I have thought about this for hours and hours on end. Maybe it's the fact that I need change again in my life. Sometimes when I get too settled into something I feel trapped and need something different. Maybe it's me missing home a little bit. Maybe it's knowing that what I have right now is all going to change and be different, so maybe it's the change that is making me feel this way. Whatever it is, I still am a very very gracious and happy person on a daily basis. But this feeling has me so confused at times. Any advice?

That's all for now.

-m