How is it possible to be so incredibly happy and so terribly sad at the same time? It's hard to explain, not only to you guys but even to myself. I find myself having these conflicting feelings and I don't know why. Sometimes during the day I look around at my situation and I am filled with so much happiness and appreciation for my life. I know that I am going to be looking back on these times and wishing I had not taken it for granted. I have amazing friends and know I have grown so much as a person. However, something is also just not there. I cannot tell if I feel like something is missing. I don't know if this thing is in myself or if it is something outside of myself. It's a strange feeling and I have no clue what to do with it. This feeling will attack me in a quick wave, crashing down and washing over me, but then slowly pulling away. I have thought about this for hours and hours on end. Maybe it's the fact that I need change again in my life. Sometimes when I get too settled into something I feel trapped and need something different. Maybe it's me missing home a little bit. Maybe it's knowing that what I have right now is all going to change and be different, so maybe it's the change that is making me feel this way. Whatever it is, I still am a very very gracious and happy person on a daily basis. But this feeling has me so confused at times. Any advice?